That day was yesterday.
Now this may seem like the most obscene thing you have ever heard. You might be thinking,"This girl just found out she has a disease that is very difficult to cure and she is jumping for joy?"
Heck yes I am!
As many of you know, about a year and a half ago I became incredibly sick. I could hardly function and my family and I spent a lot of time and money on finding a diagnosis. I have felt hopeless for a very, very long time. I worked with about a zillion doctors that gave me a variety of vague diagnoses that essentially led me no where. My mom and I spent all of our energy studying and learning everything we could about every possible health conflict out there.
For about two months I thought I had found the solution with a doctor that treated me for multiple system viral infections. I felt well for the first time in over a year. It was heaven, but the peace was short lived. Soon I was feeling miserable again and sank back into my personal worst nightmare.
As hard as this second round of sickness has been, I have learned a lot. The first ten months of being sick, all I could think about was getting better, and unfortunately my attitude was far less than good. I grew a lot through that experience, but I didn't handle myself with the grace I wish I would have. This time around while it has been just as painful, I have learned a lot. It has been a personal example to me in my own life of Elder Scott's General Conference talk from April, "Spiritual Whirlwinds."
God has made me stronger, and God always keeps his promises.
I was made stronger for this second bout of frustration, because I dealt with the first one.
Now this being said, while I was feeling more stable emotionally and spiritually, I was still without a diagnosis and it was incredibly difficult. I read a quote by Russell M Nelson that said:
"We should not be discouraged or depressed by our shortcomings. No one is without weakness. As part of the divine plan, we are tested to see whether we master weakness or let weakness master us. Proper diagnosis is essential to proper treatment. The Lord gave us this remarkable assurance: “Because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong.” But wishing for strength won’t make us strong. It takes faith and work to shore up a weakened cord of integrity."
I am aware of my many shortcomings and weaknesses. This includes both those caused by my nature as well as those caused by my current physical circumstances, and the Lord has promised me that he will make those weak things strong.
But I still needed that gosh darn diagnosis.
I FOUND IT!!!
The next while of treatment could be hard, and a lot of things are unknown. But with the potential of a light at the end of the tunnel I can do just about anything!
Unfortunately, I keep hearing about friends with similar health concerns. People going on missions and coming home with unknown conflicts that their blood work can't seem to explain.
I feel for every one of you.
My message to you is to not give up until you find a diagnosis.
No matter how crazy you feel, being healthy is worth it.
I had to laughed out loud when I recently opened a fortune cookie and read:
"Happiness is found in good health."
Now this isn't totally true....I have had plenty of happy moments over the past year and a half....
but the honest truth is it's a lot easier to live your life when you feel your best.
As a parting message to help all of you with whatever trial you are experiencing right now, remember the Lords promise found in Mosiah 24:14-15.
Here's to taking that awful cough syrup also known as patience to survive our bad days with a little more faith.
Heaven knows that's the lesson of my lifetime,
Here is a link to a story about an Olympic Free Skier and her experience with Lyme Disease.